Tag: blog

  • BSKY to WP-JP to SS back to WP-JP journey Part 3

    When did you begin your WordPress journey, and how do you manage it day by day?

    Thank you Deepika, for the prompt!
    Feel free to use any prompts for May 2026 

    From https://justrojie.com

    Part I: ONE & Part TWO :

      Know this, a person that breaks the narrative is a threat to ideology.


    Substack: Alien Relay 3.0/Eroheretic – May of 2025 to December 25th, 2025

    First, I met a lot of great people on SS. Many i am still fond of, but when the “ss notes” became more like any other sm (in long form mind you), to me it became no better than bskye.

    2025 was also one of the hardest years of my life in a personal and on an emotional level. What follows is intimately tied with my sexual assaults, and I can not finish my story without having it be part of this prompt. I probably cried out my body weight in 2025.

    Some on SS found me being vocal and speaking out a threat to the narrative, but I was not trying to be a threat or equate male sexual assault of woman to female sexual assault on men. I was just coming out to tell my story, so other men, don’t have to suffer in silence, and maybe get a little help in a mental health & criminal system that ignores or excludes male sa victims based on biology & conditioned behaviors.

    Because for a lot of men, it ends in suicide.

    Since my background is in science i decided to do some research on sexual assault of males, commited by females.

    All I found was two studies!

    Woman have every right to demand more studies about female medical issues / I think men have this same right to demand studies on the taboo topic of sexual assault on them.

    1. 32% of men are Sexually assaulted by women every year, that’s about a little under 1/3  of the population of the US.
    2. The rate of  emotional abuse in male/female relationships is about even at ~43%.
    3. Males are expected to respond affirmatively to all female sexual advances.

    These two facts alone break the narrative we grew up with. I myself, a diehard lefty male for most of my life, till the middle of last year, was clueless and had no idea about these statistics. What I think about modern femenism? vs. What I considered feminism? – is another blog entirely, and I don’t want to get into it now.

    The first man I met who told me he was sexually assaulted, I personally was disgusted by him. It was a reaction, that as a man i was conditioned to have. The reaction was fucking surreal, me a survivor of sa, disgusted by another male sa survivor. Eventually we started talking about how we felt after being assaulted and three reactions were similar:

    1. We felt it was completely our fault.

    2. Our sense of masculinity was destroyed and had to be rebuilt ground up.

    3. We felt like we were the ones who were guilty, as if we were guilty of the assault.

    4. No one cared and there were no options for help (this being the worst of them).

    Earlier on SS probably June, I did come out about my assaults, most people and woman had so much grace, they empathized with me, gave me hope at a time when I was at my lowest. Still I didn’t think I was allowed to call myself a victim. Until I met a woman named Michelle, who said, I was a “survivor.”

        This changed my life, only then I felt I was able, allowed, to TAKE the “victim” label (it’s not given to adult men who survive, we have to take it.) There was a lot of back and forth in my mind, sometimes it was the “all women” guilt game , other times i was a rage filled aggreived victim, and the most difficult, “There was no way I could identify as a male feminist anymore”, i had to kill that part of myself to move forward. It was a core part of my identity since at least 16, it was as if i ripped out a part of my soul. I felt betrayed by femenism, the left, and Democrats. I also realized that I had deep ingrained misandry in my mind, because in 2025 I learned i was considered a villian at birth.

    “How could I be a villian, if i was victimized by a woman?”

    This filled me with rage, a deep ingrained rage, that was tearing me apart. I got really dark, considered taking myself off the list, dark hopeless days they were. Then I wrote this:    Mirror

    One of the worst things ive ever written, but it had to be done or there was the alternative.


    Yes, there’s a manosphere, but there’s also a femosphere too.  From the MAGA right i was a pathetic simp that should be killed or i should kill myself, this is to be expected, not surprised, but it still didn’t sit right.

    The worst however came from the left:

    1. Told I was still privileged, and being assaulted was probably not as bad as I say.

    2. It’s patriarchy’s fault & the assaulters internal misogyny made them do it.

    3. Numerous times I was told I should be objectified more and be raped multiple times.  That any woman empathizing with me, was wrong and I was manipulating them.

    4. I was stalked, the last time at the end of November and into December on my notes and published works, again i was attacked for explaining the statistics and saying that “anyone who is assaulted, regardless of sex, should be treated equally.” Apparently for some; I was to be punished for the sins of other men.

    At least the right is honest in their hatred that I should die, the left was all about punishment & revenge.

    I was done, SS with notes became a lot like Blueskye, becoming full of horrible people (Also before SS got popular with writers it was a favorite platform for neo-nazi’s and white supremacists, racist, bigots,  and trans-hating femenists.). I left Christmas day. Here is a link, a goodbye & reasons, my:  SwanSong

    I decided to come back to WP-JP. It’s Nice and slow, no doom scrolling for likes, little drama and most of the time everyone i meet is pretty cool.

    Im mostly Isolated on my island. If my writing is read or not, I don’t care. If others like it, i appreciate you. If people don’t like it,i still appreciate you for taking a look.

    In the end, I write for myself.


      

  • BSKY to WP-JP to SS back to WP-JP journey: Part 1

    When did you begin your WordPress journey, and how do you manage it day by day?

    Thank you Deepika, for the prompt!
    Feel free to use any prompts for May 2026 

    From https://justrojie.com


    I dont do writing prompts often. This is a long memoir, because my journey didn’t just start with me waking up and deciding to put my work online. It was evolution and adaptation that has led me here.

    I think what’s more interesting is why i decided to end up using WP-JP as my chosen platform.

    I literally have miles of written content & underground published essays, fiction, poetry, prose, illustration, water color painting, activism,  political opinion editorials, zines, been in punk bands, music, miles of creation behined me over the long years. The majority in hardcopy, much of it now lost.

    I’ve been writing in some capacity most of my life. I normally don’t write biographical peices, because as a fiction and prose writer my experiences are written in as code: I use them indirectly, I enjoy it, its fulfilling to world and character build, and the “act-of-writing” also acts as therapy.

    I was Fully active writing until about 2002. After 2000 my focus went to education, I got a BS in Ecology, spending a few summers doing Marine Ecology based on islands both in the north Pacific and north Atlantic.

    Me at a hotel drinkng retreat I set up in New Hampshire in the summer of 1999 when I spent 4 months doing Marine Ecology and working on Appledore Island off the coast of New Hampshire.

    In Wisconsin i did lot’s of invasive species work, herbariums for the Mueseum, urban forestry surveys, worked in a vineyard, etc…but Ecology jobs were in short Supply and I needed insurance. So I became a Field Chemist cleaning up Hazardous Waste. I traveled the midwest, plains states, and the south for about 2ish years, untill i got a Biotech job. I liked the travel, but my mind was on not getting poisoned, melted by acids and bases, or blowing up.

    2010-2011: Alien Relay 2.0 an online political blog in the wake of the Wisconsin Uprising after the Republicans killed public unions.

    In 2012: My writers block and a loss-of-self began…………Summer of 2019: I had a trauma reaction from my relationship that expressed itself in a long hypersexual period & delibating anxiety & dissociation, this unhealthy awakening would lead to something even more traumatic. I Dabled in hook-up apps, reddit, kik, AFF, etc….was catfished, scammed, grifted on…I failed in spectacular fashion trying to hook-up…I learned these things were not for me.  You needed to be hard, cynical, and couldn’t trust anything.  Funny thing at this time, I thought non-binary meant people who didn’t use dating apps. 😅 That’s either really cute or appallingly ignorant, I like to think a little of both.

    December 2019: Covid fears start worldwide as China is hit hard in Chengdu.

    January 2020: At the biotech firm we got a majority of are synthetic DNA bases from Chengdu, we started masking and gloving up in the material handling/hazardous waste department I ran. I often worked by myself for weeks, while coworkers were out due to early social isolation recommendations.

    April 2020: Covid hits New York; by then i fully surpressed my needs. The biotech firm i worked for created Nucleotides, which were needed for the first few rounds of the MRNA vaccines, where i worked was one of the few places that made it and mostly for research before Covid. My Zoloft generic dose was doubled by my psychiatrist, i also started to become a serotonin zombie, increasing my already strong dissociation and suppressing my sexual needs. We would get a year’s worth of material in 3 weeks! Needless to say from the start of 2020 till when I was downsized/fired in August of 2022 (the corporation execs needed more ponies for their children). I was busy nonstop from the second I walked into work to the second I left work. I was 120% exhausted. However I am proud of the work i did, I helped save untold numbers of people’s lives by working with purpose, regardless of recognition I wear my work in that period as a badge of honor.

    November 2023: On a November in 2023 on a Thursday i was locked out of the house, then I was sexually assaulted twice by two different woman in one night. I suppressed that trauma deep within me, telling nobody until January of 2025. Until this day, my immediate family does not know.

    November 2015: I left social media, Facebook, in 2015 after I learned how Zuckerberg/FB with Cambridge Analytica’s help, helped Trump win by data-mining and targeting people. Being politically active, that was enough for me to quite, I also felt SM as hallow. In December of 2024 after Trump won, my politically active-self stirred and I joined Blueskye to battle X. Fact: Many X’ers that either left SM earlier like I did or it was their first time became active on Blueskye.

    Holy Fuck! I was, we were, not prepared at all for what Social Media became!

      

  • Is this me

    I’ve been reluctant to share this one. The vulnerable parts of me in this water color are still part of me now.

    Some people re-invent themselves, that is a skill I don’t possess. I carry everything because it’s me and good or bad I own it, and owing it is important. If you don’t own your choices, you make villians of others as an excuse for your actions. There is far to much of that in our world.


  • Cacophony

    Cacophony Album Cover – Rudementary Peni release 1988

    A wall of sound, like a train into solid mountain granite

    A cacophonic quartet of smashing rhythm

    Surrounded by darkness and a halo of thin light.

    The bar, black walls, stale smoke and beer

    Illumination of execution by genocide, crucifixion for/of beliefs

    Murder, letting of blood

    Metamorphosis

    Material to ethereal, body to spirit

    Or some would call it glory, ascendancy of man to heaven

    Cyclical thunderous melody, droning and blooming into monotonous complexity

    Bombastic renewal of circles cycles, of intricate repetition.

    The eye of Isis, the death and rebirth of Osiris. The annual flooding of the Nile.

    Life is a system, the process of rearrangement of cyclical moving parts, like a wall of sound.



    Written around ~1995 after seeing the band Neurosis at Okayz Corral in Madison, WI. It was so loud I couldn’t hear correctly for an entire week.  ©Jacob A Pickard.  2025.


  • Strength

    I’m stronger than you’ll ever be

    Because, to endure and have your sanity, to make it so long, a clearly defined character, rock hard in its clarity

    I am strength
    hidden in the hot exhale of your breath
    only seen in the cold void
    when there is nothing left

                                       ©️ Jacob Pickard. 2025.

  • May Haiku

    Things have changed.

    Time vigor pride beaten down by the club of life.
    Resurrection?
    Not while we’re alive.

               ©️ Jacob Pickard. 2025. Written ~ 2010.

  • Emoji Haiku for Social Media comments

    Blue dot……..🔵…..
    ….Affirm my existence…🤔…
    Yes! Blue dot..🔵…..
    Fuck!….😤….judgment?!!

    ©️ Jacob Pickard. 2025.

  • EROHERETIC – VOLUME 🔞

    Dirty & filthy. Are you sure you want to read this?

    VOLUME

  • Social Media, Being A Writer & Bonding

           So back in 2015 I stopped using Facebook and Social media all together, i did have a My Space before that. In-between I dabled in Reddit, twitter, and Instagram all of which in my point of view are cesspools. Not that I’m a saint, but I detest those who catfish & scam, trolls, asshole partisians, virtue superiority signaling, maga, aggreivment gender supremacist, trauma grifters, and the general way people treat eachother with disrespect and make instant judgements on your life and character. Also, the stalkers, who go after you, plenty of those ass hats.

         I orginally quit social media in 2015 for two reasons, with my friends it felt hallow and fake why not just talk, the second was how MAGA used it with Cambridge Anylitica to get Trump elected, blatant manipulation and FaceBook was cool with it: that was to me grounds to tell FB to fuck off. I haven’t been back since, nor Amazon for that matter. I’ve always made decsions based on my politics and where I spend my money and what platform I allow to advertise to me i take important. One of the reasons I left Substack, because it’s owned by a libertarian tech bro. After the Charlie kirk assination they let MAGA gaslight and make death threats for at least a week. I have no doubt just like Zuckerberg & X, soon as a writer or blogger they will write into the terms that your work, copyright, or IP will no longer be protected.                                      

    The thing that disappoints me the most about social media is relationships with other people, or the superficiality of them. I am a person who always is trying to “bond”. I’ve found that the vast majority of people you think you are bonding with are not treating the experience of learning about eachother the same way you would physically, as in face to face. It’s as if the wired has a “buffer” that keeps these bonds that you build from ever becoming reality. I can’t imagine how it is to date with online apps, it must be like going through a menu at a 24 hour greek restaurant at 3am with a bunch of other drunk people.

      In December of 2024, I went back in and to blueskye trying to push back against X like many X’ers, then came WordPress for my writing, then I left both for Substack in may of 2025 (also, partly because a WordPress writer was actively gaslighting me). I went to SS just when the notes part (the social media part) of SS came online. Though, I met a lot of cool people on Blueskye & Substack many who had helped me through some of the toughest emotionaly horrible months of my life, there has been only one that I have a meaningfull relationship with that I have from all of it.

         The cruelty I faced for coming out regarding my assaults was sometimes overwhelming. The anger and spite directed at me for speaking out just to be heard, the cruelty, the hate, the rage. I finally had enough of it on SS too, like I had on Blueskye. Living with an assault considered taboo, I have no idea what I was thinking trying to find answers on social media sites. I was desperate just to find some grace in a world that views you as a villian at birth, even though you were not the villian, and the experience goes against the narrative.

      Now, I plan on staying on WordPress. The last year has been an education for me. Social media is not for some people, I am one of them.

           I’m a writer, on the darker side, and a terrible artist, but what I show you and what you read is genuine, it’s from my heart and mind. The majority of the art or images I take myself.

         I give you me and I ask nothing from you in return.

    ©️ Jacob Pickard. 2026.