Ecoheretic

Category: Ecology

  • BSKY to WP-JP to SS back to WP-JP journey  Part 2: Electric Boogaloo

    When did you begin your WordPress journey, and how do you manage it day by day?

    Thank you Deepika, for the prompt!
    Feel free to use any prompts for May 2026 

    From https://justrojie.com

    Part I: ONE

    Medication change November 2024

    I had a medication change from a Zoloft generic to a new medication on November of 2024, which works much differently than the serotonin based zoloft.  Changing not only made me susceptible to seasonal affective disorder, but I began to suffer from depression, with Trump winning, my overall mental health took a hit.

    Blueskye: Ecoheretic – December 2024

         I was not prepared for social media and how people are protected from face-to-face interactions. Because of my medication change i was not prepared emotionaly, I’ve always had little to no armor, and I am very sensative.

       I went back on with the intention to network with others to resist. Well, it was a joke. The left is just a shadow of what it was. Different factions segregate themselves from eachother. Feminists vs. Labor, Progressives vs. Democrats, Identity politics vs. Moderate dems, etc… the entire left at war with itself. Walled into their areas of group think. The hatred i felt directed at me for being a white male, as if I had the choice of how I was born, was intense. The hatred I felt for coming out about my sa’s was intense. One poster literally said male assault victims didn’t matter, like it was like saying “all lives matter”. On the right i wasn’t even a man,  but a pathetic simp that should be killed, well, left & right that feeling of not belonging to anyone or anything intensified.

       This is the fact, I am one man, I am not “all men”, and I am sick of being guilted for the actions of other men and being assaulted does not make me less of a man. Men can have an inner misandrist, it’s real. Being granted victim status however, an adult male is not given it by soceity in fact no one wants to talk about it or deal with it, its taboo. Men have to take it if they want to heal. I had yet to take my victim status, and I needed permission to do it.

      So, like any other human, I made myself small after that, cleared my history twice, started publishing some poetry, I couldn’t get it all on my posts, so I researched website platforms and WP was politicaly one of the best, as in it doesnt feed the tech bro’s.

    Fate? The first person I connected with on blsky was a misandrist lesbian goethe goth. She needed help and I did help. I don’t think she needed all of it, but whatever happened it got me rediscovering myself & help crack my suppressed memories. She has my eternal thanks.

    WP-JP: Echoheretic – March of 2025

    At first it started out okay, I would publish on WP and then put the link on Blueskye. I did this till about April, and then left Blueskye, I was done with the instant judgement of my character, things said taken out of context, being blocked, stalked, harassed.

    For most of April & May I enjoyed WP-JP. I learned that i liked writing erotica, found out i was good at it. Then another writer started to gaslight me. At first it was uplifting that she would react to my work, but that only lasted so long, everything changed when I came out about my sa’s. Ill just say her initials were DD, and her gaslighting towards me was based on ideology. So I decided to leave for Substack, I was sick of being mistreated.

    Substack: Alien Relay 3.0/Eroheretic – May of 2025

    Things got better, and then they got worse.

    When i moved over to SS the notes part of it just started. In fact it was okay at first, but at the start of 2025 SS was getting a lot of press and getting more popular.

    At this time I was emotionaly wrecked, my identity as a white male lefty with strong femenist ideals was on the way to being destroyed, questioning my own masculinity and worth, my confidence destroyed, the moral superiority of the left disgusted me after being on the receiving end. In fact there were times that I felt like it was my fault for my assaults, like I was the one who made them do it. I would literally cry everyday on my way to work, and the way home. It was the only place I could let it out without an audience. That rage i was suppressing, that I didn’t want to let out, but it wanted to be let out, was working its way out. And little at a time “all woman” would pass my mind.

      Know this, a person that breaks the narrative is a threat.

      

  • Secret life of Meatloaf – LMN edition

    Meatloaf Amorphous

    1 lbs of pork, turkey, 90% lean beef. Ketchup, worschteahire, herb mix, season salt, pepper, minced onion, celery, breadcrumbs, & an egg.

    Shaped

    Loathed in bread loaf pans, don’t ask about the fat-stack. FYI, I was banned from finger painting in kindergarten if that helps.

    Solid

    Roasting indirect heat between 375 to 400 F.

    Weather

    Glaze: ketchup, worsheshire, unfilteted apple cider vinegar, hatch chili bacon (pre-cooked crsipy), lager beer.

    Severe weather:

    Sexy dressed meatloaf. Prefers oral.

    Final form? Or is it?

    Caramelized.

    There’s more:

    Sliced! What’s the occasion

    Add more sin for flavor:

    Oh, being fried in the bacon grease, covered sinfully naked in glaze! Definitely a fetish.

    Slathered, caramelized, and sliced.

    Completed again, but ready to be put in sandwich porn form for your pleasure.

    Meatloaf sandwich with horseradish sauce, mustard potato salad (not me), berry salad with a little sugar (not me).

  • BSKY to WP-JP to SS back to WP-JP journey: Part 1

    When did you begin your WordPress journey, and how do you manage it day by day?

    Thank you Deepika, for the prompt!
    Feel free to use any prompts for May 2026 

    From https://justrojie.com

    I dont do writing prompts often. This is a long memoir, because my journey didn’t just start with me waking up and deciding to put my work online. It was evolution and adaptation that has led me here.

    I think what’s more interesting is why i decided to end up using WP-JP as my chosen platform.

    I literally have miles of written content & underground published essays, fiction, poetry, prose, illustration, water color painting, activism,  political opinion editorials, zines, been in punk bands, music, miles of creation behined me over the long years. The majority in hardcopy, much of it now lost.

    I’ve been writing in some capacity most of my life. I normally don’t write biographical peices, because as a fiction and prose writer my experiences are written in as code: I use them indirectly, I enjoy it, its fulfilling to world and character build, and the “act-of-writing” also acts as therapy.

    I was Fully active writing until about 2002. After 2000 my focus went to education, I got a BS in Ecology, spending a few summers doing Marine Ecology based on islands both in the north Pacific and north Atlantic.

    Me at a hotel drinkng retreat I set up in New Hampshire in the summer of 1999 when I spent 4 months doing Marine Ecology and working on Appledore Island off the coast of New Hampshire.

    In Wisconsin i did lot’s of invasive species work, herbariums for the Mueseum, urban forestry surveys, worked in a vineyard, etc…but Ecology jobs were in short Supply and I needed insurance. So I became a Field Chemist cleaning up Hazardous Waste. I traveled the midwest, plains states, and the south for about 2ish years, untill i got a Biotech job. I liked the travel, but my mind was on not getting poisoned, melted by acids and bases, or blowing up.

    2010-2011: Alien Relay 2.0 an online political blog in the wake of the Wisconsin Uprising after the Republicans killed public unions.

    In 2012: My writers block and a loss-of-self began…………Summer of 2019: I had a trauma reaction from my relationship that expressed itself in a long hypersexual period & delibating anxiety & dissociation, this unhealthy awakening would lead to something even more traumatic. I Dabled in hook-up apps, reddit, kik, AFF, etc….was catfished, scammed, grifted on…I failed in spectacular fashion trying to hook-up…I learned these things were not for me.  You needed to be hard, cynical, and couldn’t trust anything.  Funny thing at this time, I thought non-binary meant people who didn’t use dating apps. 😅 That’s either really cute or appallingly ignorant, I like to think a little of both.

    December 2019: Covid fears start worldwide as China is hit hard in Chengdu.

    January 2020: At the biotech firm we got a majority of are synthetic DNA bases from Chengdu, we started masking and gloving up in the material handling/hazardous waste department I ran. I often worked by myself for weeks, while coworkers were out due to early social isolation recommendations.

    April 2020: Covid hits New York; by then i fully surpressed my needs. The biotech firm i worked for created Nucleotides, which were needed for the first few rounds of the MRNA vaccines, where i worked was one of the few places that made it and mostly for research before Covid. My Zoloft generic dose was doubled by my psychiatrist, i also started to become a serotonin zombie, increasing my already strong dissociation and suppressing my sexual needs. We would get a year’s worth of material in 3 weeks! Needless to say from the start of 2020 till when I was downsized/fired in August of 2022 (the corporation execs needed more ponies for their children). I was busy nonstop from the second I walked into work to the second I left work. I was 120% exhausted. However I am proud of the work i did, I helped save untold numbers of people’s lives by working with purpose, regardless of recognition I wear my work in that period as a badge of honor.

    November 2023: On a November in 2023 on a Thursday i was locked out of the house, then I was sexually assaulted twice by two different woman in one night. I suppressed that trauma deep within me, telling nobody until January of 2025. Until this day, my immediate family does not know.

    November 2015: I left social media, Facebook, in 2015 after I learned how Zuckerberg/FB with Cambridge Analytica’s help, helped Trump win by data-mining and targeting people. Being politically active, that was enough for me to quite, I also felt SM as hallow. In December of 2024 after Trump won, my politically active-self stirred and I joined Blueskye to battle X. Fact: Many X’ers that either left SM earlier like I did or it was their first time became active on Blueskye.

    Holy Fuck! I was, we were, not prepared at all for what Social Media became!

      

  • Save Yourself – Boy Sets Fire

    “Shut your mouth look around
    This motherfucker is burning down
    And nothing’s gonna save us now“

       I’m cynical by watching the majority of the left become politicaly apathetic, self-deafeating, ignorant, complacent, arrogant, aggreived victimhood, isolated to their towers of self-absorption after Biden was elected gives me little hope for the future.

    As a politicaly active person on the left all my life, the betrayl doesn’t come from MAGA or Republicans, it comes from the left and Democrats, because it’s been castrating itself willingly over the last 20 years.

    So this is what you want
    Choices are made and given up
    I just cant comprehend the need to sit when you can stand
    The game is rigged, the money spent

    Shut your mouth look around
    This motherfucker is burning down
    And nothing’s gonna save us now
    Get out… and save yourself

    There’s only so much I can say
    tried so hard to help you find your way
    But every step a wasted breath of false hope and promises
    There’s nothing to save, there’s nothing left

    Nothing’s left of you today
    Save yourself or die away

    So this is what you want
    Your choice was made, you’ve given up
    I’ll never comprehend the need to sit when you can stand
    There’s nothing left, the money spent

    Writer(s): Nathan Gray, Joshua Latshaw, Robert Ehrenbrand, Charles W Istvan, Christopher Rakus album: “While A Nation Sleeps…” (2013)
    BoySetsFire – While A Nation Sleeps.

  • Curse

    Curse

    Energy
    Given freely
    Is as breathing
    For me
    Understanding
    Until now, ive had so much of it
    But, frankly
    I
    Am
    Utterly
    Exhausted
    I
    Speak Truth
    I
    Endless hope
    I
    Set
    Boundries
    I
    Don’t give up
    ……Why do I feel guilty?

    Truth
    I
    am
    prey
    Human predators smell empathy
    As
    Sharks smell blood in the water
    Allowing myself to be used
    without equal reciprocity
    Used
    Endless cycle(s) of neglect
    Affection to weapon
    Sex to Weapon
    Shrunk as weapon
    Tool of endless emotional grounding
    Control
    Power
    Stability
    Comfort

    I
    Am
    Tired
    …….So very very tired
    And I’m afraid
    I
    Have
    Changed
    I
    Am
    Broken
    Victim
    Survivor
    Pariah

    Empathy is a curse

    ©️ Jacob Pickard. 2026.

  • Pariah in the company of Phantoms


    I am Pariah

    A life devoid of touch, love, passion, a pillar of rough-hewn granite, to make other’s lives more comfortable so they don’t have to feel guilt. A mirrored avatar to reflect what they want to see; taking responsibility for the cowardly acts of their Phantoms.
    Selfish Ideological Narcissists, making victims that exist in the interstitial spaces, Acceptable losses in the war.
    A living taboo, stigmatized, no one wants to touch this flesh, it is taboo made real.
    Aged masculinty shattered into dull edges, ego ripped out, longtime ideological identity destroyed; the devouring mother’s hunger satiated.

    I no longer want to try to identify with anyone, as anyone, or with any group. All are phantoms.
    The gulf is now infinite. Not your spaces in-between, because nothing exists on either side.
    Playing my part in the background, while the Phantoms roleplay; it’s the curse of total detached awareness & empathy. Pain hidden in the shadows, invisible to all.

    Pariah is my rightful place, I am the sacrificial king: I will let this demon eat my soul.

    ……and I will REVEL in the consumption

    One with the Pariah that haunts the
    interstitial spaces

    the Pariah that whispers to the
    phantoms in your nightmares


    ©️ Jacob A. Pickard. 2025. Originally 

    published on SubStack.

  • EROHERETIC – Bond 🔞

    “Sit down…..this one goes to the core….and it’s juicy.”

                                    Bond

  • Is this me

    I’ve been reluctant to share this one. The vulnerable parts of me in this water color are still part of me now.

    Some people re-invent themselves, that is a skill I don’t possess. I carry everything because it’s me and good or bad I own it, and owing it is important. If you don’t own your choices, you make villians of others as an excuse for your actions. There is far to much of that in our world.

  • EROHERETIC – Bad Boy Blues 🔞

    “I’m supposed to seduce, not the joker who writes this blog.”

                                     Bad Boy Blues

  • King of Fools

    Every space in my life is filled.

    Except for the most important space, which has been void for ages. The void is immense, and I doubt now it will ever be filled again.

    Things, nicknaks, books in towers, shoes upon shoes, pans atop pans, prints upon prints. So many “things”. Things purchased not out of need, but to fill someone elses void. Things saved and forgotten in boxes, to collect dust for nostalgia? Need?

    No amount of organizing, cleaning, no matter how much you do ever matters, nor works. The teetring mountain of things will overwhelm you, it will tip over on you and you will become lost in the clutter.

    When you realize that you are part of the clutter, just another thing with no space left for self. So you forget who you are, and give up more space until you are part of the background, part of the clutter in someone elses life.

    Then you become the house, to hold the clutter. The Foundation, encompassing all, keeping things safe, keeping the peace, like Atlas all of the weight is on your shoulders.

    Then you disappear, until you speak up, only to be given a performance to pull you back,  to get you to go silent, to forget again, to meld back into the clutter. To get you to be a creek in the wood of the foundation on a freezing day.

    Woe, my story is the story of millions of others, both men and women, i know im not alone in this tale. Just another fool/tool; be it fear of being alone, or keeping your honor and word out of pride, or not giving up in the face of overwhelming defeat. Where is the logic in any of that when you finally realize you are a thing? Knowing that you are a provider, a foundation, the protection, but not valued or recognized for any of it, or shown real affection or love. You are just a thing to be used for the comfort of others.

    This my dear, is what fools do. Maybe im the king of fools. To know the truth, walking that fine line between speaking truth to power, but at the same time knowing you’re the punchline of the biggest self-owning joke of all time.


    Actually, on second thought, Mike Ness can keep his crown. I have no need to be the king of anything.

      ©️ Jacob Pickard. 2026.

  • This Mortal Burden Chapter 1 – Dark Future Sci-Fi

    This Mortal Burden Chapter 1 – Dark Future Sci-Fi

    The Colossus – Fransico Goya

                 This Mortal Burden Chapter 1

    This is a long read. Just a quarter of this novel I wrote awhile ago. I cringe at some of it, because I was younger, with a great lack of wisdom. Although I think I caught detail of the action pretty well.

       

  • EROHERETIC – Shimmer  🔞

    “Hmmmm…….you have a filthy mind don’t you?”

                          

  • Lifetime – Dark Future Philosophical Sci-Fi

                                LIFETIME

  • Shift – Dark Future Science Fiction

    SHIFT

  • Balance

    I don’t usually preface my prose, but I think this one is important that I explain. This peice comes at the end of a hard year plus of soul searching after acknowledging to myself that I was sexuslly assaulted. After nearly two years plus I buried it deep, but in the fall of 2024 on a cold morning while filling my car at Costco it all came back and hit me like bricks of ice. I barely made it through the day at work, but I did it somehow. All assault victims  experience the same things, but men especially white men are given very little acceptance or grace by soceity as a whole, left & right ideologies judge heavy on your worth after, or even your right to claim victimhood in a world that wants you silent. It took most of the year to consider myself a survivor.

       I guess its the times, but I have spent a very long time pondering aggreivment after being swallowed by it and spit out. The pull to hate and rage at those of the opposite sex was strong, some days it had consumed me. Too blame ALL women for the actions of a few, is absurd! I don’t want to be bitter or aggrieved, I think this poem captures the toxic cycle of aggreived victimhood. I had come to terms and this poem exposes what it is. Yours, Jake

    Why does the bar tip the other way, while trying to equate and balance both sides?
    to much weight on one pan
    the fulcrum tilts, the beam always holds, the beam always wins

    the villians are now the oppressed, the once oppressed villians

          Transmutation of suffering into bitter rage
    Alchemized survivor becomes the predator

    Spittle & spite
    Vengance so bright
    Inferior to superior
    Your Humanity now blight

    My dear organizing systems forming entwining, no boundaries of the bottomless hunger
    of self-righteous rage
    the victims, the survivors

    It doesnt matter to It who is in control, It doesnt care about justification, the thing exists.

    Hoary worm of eons crushes bones,  devours flesh, pukes blood, gnashing sinew, slurps guts, sucks entrails smashed
    made into mash
    Bulbous rot, engorging the gullet, suffering inside the gaping hole, digested birthing vile gas from the fermented bile of humanities sins

    Orborus the obese worm, engorged distented on your suffering; prey-as-to-predator-to-victim-survivor-as-to-predator…as-to-victim…it’s the  sweet….

                …suffering

      sweet…..

           …sweet…….suffering

                                                      suffering


       ©️ Jacob A. Pickard. 2025.                  

  • Answer Me! –  Science Fiction Dark Future

    Answer Me!

  • CLUTCH – Philosophical Science Fiction 

                                    CLUTCH

  • Cacophony

    Cacophony Album Cover – Rudementary Peni release 1988

    A wall of sound, like a train into solid mountain granite

    A cacophonic quartet of smashing rhythm

    Surrounded by darkness and a halo of thin light.

    The bar, black walls, stale smoke and beer

    Illumination of execution by genocide, crucifixion for/of beliefs

    Murder, letting of blood

    Metamorphosis

    Material to ethereal, body to spirit

    Or some would call it glory, ascendancy of man to heaven

    Cyclical thunderous melody, droning and blooming into monotonous complexity

    Bombastic renewal of circles cycles, of intricate repetition.

    The eye of Isis, the death and rebirth of Osiris. The annual flooding of the Nile.

    Life is a system, the process of rearrangement of cyclical moving parts, like a wall of sound.



    Written around ~1995 after seeing the band Neurosis at Okayz Corral in Madison, WI. It was so loud I couldn’t hear correctly for an entire week.  ©Jacob A Pickard.  2025.

  • Strength

    I’m stronger than you’ll ever be

    Because, to endure and have your sanity, to make it so long, a clearly defined character, rock hard in its clarity

    I am strength
    hidden in the hot exhale of your breath
    only seen in the cold void
    when there is nothing left

                                       ©️ Jacob Pickard. 2025.

  • incest wealth, bloated & depraved, voyeur of abomination

    History teaches us a lesson about what the majority of the insanely rich and powerful become, how their brains devolve into psychosis, those that exist “As Above”; viewing the rest of us as meat bound chattle, flesh to be exploited, blood to be guzzled, to kill us with impunity, injure us, as if swallowing and bathing in the blood of virgins & the young can unwrinkle your skin or stop the ends of your DNA strands unraveling. The ultra-wealthy the powerful (abomination), these people use your labor, use disease, abort your health from the pollution they dump in your air, your water to make profit, use everthing to enrich themselves futher and steal your power, your health, & your confidence. The supposed miracle of laize-faire capitalism birthed into bloody flesh ripping cannibalism, disembowling itself, hedging itself, gorging itself on it’s own innards, betting on failure, only to leave shit, piss, bile, and gnashed bone.

          Make you small, weak, prey.

    Keep Rotting in the Free World

    Consumer or consumed, your life is cheap
    Economic salvation in sweatshops returned from the east,

    Despair the only quality of strife,

    A reason for existence if you can afford the price,            

    If your price is right

         250 years of the USA and it has birthed another generation of Nero’s, Bathory’s, D’sade’s, Caligula’s; your Maxwell’s, Diddy’s, Epsteins, Trumps, Fergusons, intelligence agencies…..we have called them the wealthy, rich, celebrities, CEO’s, intellectuals, left right, liberal conservative.

       Ghouls who survive on the cannabilism of their fellow human beings. Spheres of power,  as a super predator, you are the prey. They rape, commit genocide, murder, pollute and without question prove that wealth & power twist their humanity into abomination. Each inch given by us, the unwashed riff-raff, brings humanity a few feet closer to speciecide. The instable hunger of the abomination from insane levels of concentrated wealth and it’s self-serving power.

        Multiple spheres of power coalesce, using other’s for the physical manifestation of their cruelty. It’s not enough to raise the prices of medication, or dump PCB’s in the water, force hunger, or steal your labor; they need to exert that power on living targets they can touch; deflowerimg by the domination of the powerless, those invisible. Rape is the goal, seeing the cruelty they created by their own hands, yielding that power must be seen physically and mentally on a victim, to enforce the fact that they beleive themselves “On High” over the rest of us who do not exist in their incestual nucleus of spheres; to manifest it, on a small scale for selfish gratification. The sweet suffering of the helpless; A sacrifice to their gluttonous god they worship: Themselves!

  • Holy Fuck! I’m famous 😂

        I had no Idea that any of the bands i was in back in the day were even relevant, but I guess people like classical music from the mid-90’s. Although its missing i was one of the founding members of the band “Downer”, but i never played out with them.

        Emo-punk back then was a completely different animal then what it has morphed into, which is more of a semi-goth fashion ascetic, rather than a mish-mash of rock, punk, hardcore, metal, even folk influences music type it was. Emo had nothing to do with look or style, it what was what’s inside that counted. Speaking up, baring your soul regardless of reaction of the audience.  But hey! I was just a bass player.

    Don’t get me started on what is considered to be “Goth” nowadays, it’s all become a fashion lifestyle were the music it aborted from it and is mostly just a side note. It’s a fact Bela Legosi is dead and the Sisters of Mercy didn’t include Sousxie and her Banshees. 😉

    I think it was Hot Topic’s fault. Back in my day you had to go to a pet store to get a good chain collar to wear or mail order spikes for your black leather biker jacket. Damn kids! Whom are now in their 30’s. Ageing, is and always will be, the best self-own on those younger than yourself who are making fun of you for being older.

    Chaste – Tounge in Cheek

    End of Witacre was the best of the three bands I was in ~1997. Of course ego’s got in the way of the one band i was in that had the talent and drive to make it, even if a little in the alt-music sphere. Remember this is way before MySpace, the internet music revolution, etc… recordings and making it to larger audiences back in the olden days was a lot more difficult than today because everything was analog and hardcopy.

        Anyway, I stood my ground and defended my longtime band mate and friend Cory and decided that if they were going to kick him out, then I wouldn’t be part of the band either. Thus, break-up. I still stand by that decision. Loyalty, honor & character mean a lot to me. In the beginning of 1998 I moved back home to my parents house, played lots of starcraft, Diablo and went back to school concentrating on the natural sciences.

    ©️ Jacob Pickard. 2026.

  • ALIEN_RELAY – ISSUE #7

    ALIEN_RELAY – ISSUE #7

  • ALIEN_RELAY – ISSUE #6

    Epithetic text
    A macabre rality perplexed

    Execrations – literary tales of atrocities fairy
    Exoneration – harsh, cold bloody marys
    Excogitation – a narcissistic eutechnique
    Exculpitation – perverse artworks, so unique

    Monographic text, a literary vex
    The macabre perplexed, with reality meshed

  • May Haiku

    Things have changed.

    Time vigor pride beaten down by the club of life.
    Resurrection?
    Not while we’re alive.

               ©️ Jacob Pickard. 2025. Written ~ 2010.

  • ALIEN_RELAY – ISSUE #5

    ALIEN_RELAY – ISSUE #5

  • Houseplant Jungle

    Crotan on the right ive had at least 26 years, sword, then a huge Monstera, Money Plant, Australian Fern and I forgot the species on the farm left.
    To the right a species of Prickly Pear, then two other cacti i forget the species of. The one on the left has a effed up growth pattern from years of slow growth, it’s a bit phallic.
    Madagascar Palm at least 10 years old. Transplanting hurts, a lot.

    FYI – I have a BS in Ecology. I took a lot of botany invertebrate zoology, mycology, loved studying algae, lots of marine as well and other focuses, because Ecology is multidisciplinary in nature. It’s really a deep-dive into system dynamics.

       Always loved house plants before that though, hence a portion of my plant army.

  • CLUTCH – Philosophical Science Fiction 

    CLUTCH – Philosophical Science Fiction 

  • ALIEN_RELAY – ISSUE #4

    ALIEN_RELAY – ISSUE #4

  • ALIEN_RELAY – ISSUE #3

    ALIEN_RELAY – ISSUE #3

  • ALIEN_RELAY – ISSUE #2

    ALIEN_RELAY – ISSUE #2

  •       ALIEN_RELAY -ISSUE #1

    ALIEN_RELAY – ISSUE #1

  • Self-inflicted Speciecide

  • Phoenix Chained

    Ink & Water Color

  • Communication

    Pencil

  • Isolation

    Charcoal & Pencil

  • Social Media, Being A Writer & Bonding

           So back in 2015 I stopped using Facebook and Social media all together, i did have a My Space before that. In-between I dabled in Reddit, twitter, and Instagram all of which in my point of view are cesspools. Not that I’m a saint, but I detest those who catfish & scam, trolls, asshole partisians, virtue superiority signaling, maga, aggreivment gender supremacist, trauma grifters, and the general way people treat eachother with disrespect and make instant judgements on your life and character. Also, the stalkers, who go after you, plenty of those ass hats.

         I orginally quit social media in 2015 for two reasons, with my friends it felt hallow and fake why not just talk, the second was how MAGA used it with Cambridge Anylitica to get Trump elected, blatant manipulation and FaceBook was cool with it: that was to me grounds to tell FB to fuck off. I haven’t been back since, nor Amazon for that matter. I’ve always made decsions based on my politics and where I spend my money and what platform I allow to advertise to me i take important. One of the reasons I left Substack, because it’s owned by a libertarian tech bro. After the Charlie kirk assination they let MAGA gaslight and make death threats for at least a week. I have no doubt just like Zuckerberg & X, soon as a writer or blogger they will write into the terms that your work, copyright, or IP will no longer be protected.                                      

    The thing that disappoints me the most about social media is relationships with other people, or the superficiality of them. I am a person who always is trying to “bond”. I’ve found that the vast majority of people you think you are bonding with are not treating the experience of learning about eachother the same way you would physically, as in face to face. It’s as if the wired has a “buffer” that keeps these bonds that you build from ever becoming reality. I can’t imagine how it is to date with online apps, it must be like going through a menu at a 24 hour greek restaurant at 3am with a bunch of other drunk people.

      In December of 2024, I went back in and to blueskye trying to push back against X like many X’ers, then came WordPress for my writing, then I left both for Substack in may of 2025 (also, partly because a WordPress writer was actively gaslighting me). I went to SS just when the notes part (the social media part) of SS came online. Though, I met a lot of cool people on Blueskye & Substack many who had helped me through some of the toughest emotionaly horrible months of my life, there has been only one that I have a meaningfull relationship with that I have from all of it.

         The cruelty I faced for coming out regarding my assaults was sometimes overwhelming. The anger and spite directed at me for speaking out just to be heard, the cruelty, the hate, the rage. I finally had enough of it on SS too, like I had on Blueskye. Living with an assault considered taboo, I have no idea what I was thinking trying to find answers on social media sites. I was desperate just to find some grace in a world that views you as a villian at birth, even though you were not the villian, and the experience goes against the narrative.

      Now, I plan on staying on WordPress. The last year has been an education for me. Social media is not for some people, I am one of them.

           I’m a writer, on the darker side, and a terrible artist, but what I show you and what you read is genuine, it’s from my heart and mind. The majority of the art or images I take myself.

         I give you me and I ask nothing from you in return.

    ©️ Jacob Pickard. 2026.

       

  • I am the violent flame

  • Shadows, Longing

    Jacob Pickard.2025

  • Agammenon

  • In the spirit of total resistance

    This was a compilation punk 7″ from the early 90’s to support the Mowhawk native American Resistance against the Mexican government. This is a lesson on what needs to happen in the United States.

    To resist is to change yourself.

    You must become a warrior.

    We out-number the villians in this world.

    There is NO room for apathy.

    Only TOTAL resistance.

  • Void

  • AM

  • Bliss

  • Red Suns

    I gave up art & illustration for writing way back in ancient times (okay early 90’s). I just realized a few weeks ago that my art & writing fed off eachother. The art and drawing i did, was/is an actual funneling of my sub/unconscious mind into visual reality.

    ©️ Jacob A. Pickard. 2026.