Terror Soul

Night Terrors
I’ve had since I could walk, this is an experience from my mid-20s. They’re still active, but now very rare.

I screamed in terror, walking in fear, but yet sound asleep. Something was inside my unconscious mind, in control; it awakens when I fall asleep. My soul in terror.

A terror so deep within me, it will only come out when my conscious mind is off. When I would awaken, I had no knowledge of what I had done—except for one instance. I had all but forgotten, and now that I have sulked on the meaning for ages, it may be connected with my feverish delirium of a dying race.

They call those experiences of sleepwalking, unconscious fears: night terrors. In one of them now, I can remember quite clearly that I was walking outside the house. For some reason, I can’t recall if I was going through the terror, or over it, but I was outside. This is the only time that I can remember this happening throughout my childhood, but why was I outside? My feet were wet, grass and mud on them when I woke up.

This question I can never seem to answer. Why did I go outside? Why do I think it’s connected with my delirium oblivion vision? I have no answers.

©️ Jacob Pickard.2026.